the first day of…..

I once read a poster that proclaimed that this was the first day of the rest of my life.  The underlying message, of course, was that I should make the rest of my life as exciting/productive/meaningful as possible.  So here I am, taking a rare quiet moment to ponder what I would like to do with the rest of mine.  So far, my life has been filled with deadlines, more deadlines, and activity that would make any normal person dizzy.  The character in “OKLAHOMA” who can’t say No (and shares my name) is one who I readily identify with.  (My sister and my husband can attest to this.)  I’m not complaining – I can look back and remember so many great moments and fantastic, interesting people that I have been fortunate enough to know and love.  I tend to take advantage of almost any opportunity to get out there and do things.  At this stage of my stay on Earth, however, I feel a great pull to change and start a new direction.  I’m not slowing down, but rather, looking at the possibilities of a new path.

I have been deeply involved with what some might call a “service industry” most of my life: performing arts.  For over two decades, I taught adolescents about life and music (and they taught me much in return!)  Three years ago, I finally left the field (and the never-ending paperwork!) to pursue professional music and producing full time, and I have grabbed almost every chance to perform and produce since then.  I now have a brand new collection of producer’s notebooks and was a singing fool (especially during last season), but what have I really accomplished?  More importantly, did I genuinely enjoy what I did, or did I just do it to have something to fill my time?  Is it more likely that I did all these things to have people to fill my heart?  This is the question, and I have few answers.

So what’s next?  Do I really put myself out there, or just nurture others?  I am great at enabling everyone else, and pretty bad at doing the same thing for myself.  Fortunately, I have someone to help me in that department.  Now, I need to follow the leadership training I took several times and TAKE A RISK.

Posted on August 29, 2008, in self-reflection. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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